Not the jealous type

I finished up yoga, rolled up my mat and walked outside to put on my shoes. I was followed by a gentleman.

"Hey do you go to this class often?"

"Well, when I can, I really like it."

"Do you ever have time to go to lunch after class?"

Ah, that's what he wants. 


"Well, my husband and I are going to go... we like this place just down the street... blahdy blah, husband, blah"

He got the point. About that time, the hubs did show up.

"Honey! I just got asked out!"

"Well did you say yes? Free lunch!"

Convo

I was with a groups of friends when two guys decided to arm wrestle.

"We need a judge, I can't be a judge - Natalie you be the judge."

I was packing up my stuff and prepping to go.

"You need me to stay and do what?" I said. I wasn't aware these things needed judging. Isn't the winner evident?

"Well it is a girl's job."

"Well, now that goes against everything I stand for as a feminist."

"Oh yeah, I struggle with that. I'm a miso-miso, what do you call it?"

"A misogynist?"

"Yeah, that."

My stuff was packed and I was walking out. I didn't say anything, I didn't want to be silly and freak out.

Except, he wasn't joking. He's a nice gentleman, courteous, and was just stating a fact. What would you have said? I'm just a little suprised someone openly admitted to being a misogynist. Isn't that a little like admitting to being racist?

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent

Eleanor Roosevelt said that. But it helps to hear it from my friend too.

How many times can I talk myself down before I start believing it? Probably about once. So it is good to just not start.

Also - breaking news - LinkedIn is apparently actually good for something!

My first day of school is today! I am excited!

Teens say the darndest

There comes a minute when you must write things down. I absolutely love my church calling. I spend a few hours every week with the most fabulous teenagers.There are definitely some quoteable moments.

A few Sundays ago, the teacher was trying to explain that prayer is more than lip service. Which then required a need to explain lip service. Upon hearing the definition, a girl said.

"Oh, that's what Obama does."

The next week while playing Catchphrase...

"They drink a lot of water!"

"Fish!"

(the answer was camel)

12-year-old: "I am..."

That was the only clue she gave. The answer was beautiful. She is.

Same 12-year-old: "I never look in this"

"MIRROR" so said five people. The answer was dictionary.

Whether it is being told I absolutely can't dance or turning up the car radio for a certain song -- I absolutely love the third hour of church and Tuesday nights. And any random blather between.

At least he knows me well

Honey, should my new years resolution be to shower every day?

No.

Really? Why not?

Because it just isn't you.

....

At least he knows me. And loves me anyway. So does this one:

He speaks my language

Husby appeases wifey

Some days aren't great. Some days should be improved by a stroll through a make up store. Sometimes that doesn't work.

Ate dinner at Islands with husband. Went to see a movie, but it wasn't playing until 10 p.m. and well, folks, that's just a few minutes before my bedtime.

"Perfect topper to a crappy, crappy day," I said as we walked to the car, cutting through ULTA.

"Do you want to buy something honey?" Husband knows how to please.

"Yeah, but I never know what to buy. I need new bronzer. But this store sells 17 different brands of bronzer, every brand has their own shade. Which one is the right one? The most expensive? The fanciest packaging? They are all trying to sell something. But what is it? Two Faced tells me I can be good and bad at the same time, I don't want to be bad, but I like their bronzer. Benefit, now that's a good name, and I like their retro packaging, but its pricey and the name makes me think of benefiber. Not good."

"What about these eye shadows?" Husband asks.

"Well, see that's a pack of 16 eye shadows. It seems like a great deal. But look at the tester. Only three are used. Which means you'll spend $32 thinking you're getting a great deal, but in reality, you'll become hooked to just three colors, in miniature, so then you'll be back at the store, buying those colors, all of which are sold separately, so you'll spend $40 on three eye shadows when you have 13 perfectly good minis at home."

"OK, honey."

"I just want a store to say 'here, buy this bronzer and that eyeshadow and your day won't be crappy crappy crappy.'"

"Why don't we just go home and get you that dress you want?"

"Mmmkay."

two years is a long time

We were sailing with hubs' parents, and they were not enjoying it. Being in a confined space with people who aren't having fun, is to say the least awkward.*

Me: "Oh, I put up with so much."
Hubs: "Hey, I put up with a lot too."
Me: "When has my family been hard to put up with?"
Hubs: "I wasn't talking about your family."

Oh SNAP!

*We did have fun with the inlaws. They just prefer speedboats.

Bathroom post

"Honey, I need you to speed home. I've had like 13 glasses of water today and I got to pee."


"13 glasses?"


"Well the Sparkpeople thing says to drink a lot of water. And you told me it would flush out the fat cells. But I don't think its doing anything. My pee is clear."


"That's a good thing!"


"Huh? That makes no sense, peeing water means its just going straight through me."


"Yes, which is good. I sold water, I know."


"I am Googling it."


I'm sure my single friends are jealous. Does two years of marriage mean there is no trust, that Google is the authority? Do you talk about bodily functions with your spouse? Does it eliminate the spark?


Yes, Husband did sell water while we were engaged. But we've decided the company is full of, umm, crap.


Oh, and to add to that, awkward public bathroom convos. Really necessary?

First scenario: See a coworker, person A walks in, says hi to person B and asks how her day was, but yet, slips into the stall at the same time, and so the door is shut in B's face. And then coworker A awkwardly says goodbye and slips out while B stays.


Or, person A stands there outside the stall and chats, all the while, trying to close up the conversation. Because, um, she's gotta go. And B knows that, but she's trying to be friendly, and the two keep just saying stupid stuff to chat, but really B wants to go back to work and A is ready to explode.


For the record, the issue was googled and drinking water can slightly increase your metabolism, but does not flush out fat. However, clear is also a sign of good hydration. Bright yellow means dehydration. And something about bilirubin levels -- which I had never heard of until I had a few friends have baby scares because the baby couldn't leave the hospital because of bilirubin. Which I think is just jaundice, right?

The job after the job

N: Let's play!! You're fired from chores!

A: Oh really? So do you want to make the bed?

N: Yes!

A: Do the hand washables?

N: Most of them are mine, we can do them tomorrow!

A: And change the laundry?

N: Yes! 

A: And do the dishes? 

N: Ew no!

A: With the gross fish guts?

N: They aren't fish guts. You eat the muscle. Haven't you ever cut a fish? Those are guts.

A: Well what if you ate a human, you'd say you were eating the guts.

N: No -- you eat the muscle. That's why they call it fileting a fish.

A: Oh really!

Then we made the bed and he's doing the dishes and then it will be 9 p.m. and bedtime routine ensues. Carpe Diem I say, Carpe Diem! 

We all scream

A: Honey did you finish off the ice cream?

N: Yeah, but there wasn't a lot.

A: Oh really?

N: Well, there was only enough for two bowls. 

....

A: Rememeber how tomorrow should be Friday!

N: YEEEEAH!!!

A: Remember how we should only work four days a week!

N: YEEEAH!!!

B movie motivation

Husband: You know sometimes, I think they put out movies when their are other good movies out there, just so when people go to the movie theater and the good movie is sold out, they'll say "well, let's just go see that Will Ferrell movie then."

Mothers Day Prep

No honey, those are the boy cards

But I'm a boy

But you're sending it to you're mom. You send the card thinking of the recipient. 

But you picked out the gift and the entire thing anyway. I wanted to pick out the card. 

Oh honey! I'm sorry. You can use whatever card you want. 

Two minutes later, I dictated what to write on said womanly card. 

Smile

I must journal this

In sunday school yesterday, I played with my pal's baby.

It started to cry. I got scared. But then I held it up to my face.

We made eye contact, and that baby looked right at me and smiled the biggest fattest smile.

Oh my goodness -- I think I got it. I think I got what everyone keeps talking about.

When we got home, I asked Adam if he saw my moment.

"Yeah, honey, and now you're going to start asking me for a baby, aren't you?"

Maybe I need to cook?

Honey, will you pick up some eggs while you're at the store?

Sure, are we out?

No, I mean Cadbury eggs.

Revealed: why American car companies are failing

Me: Is that a Yukon with spinners?

Hubs: Yeah, I totally thought those went out in 1995.

Me: I thought they were only for fancy cars, like Escalades or something.

Hubs: Well, Yukons and Escalades are the same thing.

Me: What? No they aren't.

Hubs: Yeah, GMC makes Yukon and Cadillac makes Escalade. But they are all made by GM. Same chassis, just slightly different details.

Me: So they just wasted all this time putting out different slightly different cars. Instead of like making one car better?

Hubs: Yeah, almost ever car company in America is really owned by GM.

Me: Well that's good.

Froyo Bubble, no?

Me: "It is seriously not California if there isn't a froyo on every strip mall."

Hubs: "Seriously!"

Then we played the name game...

Yogurtland!
Yogurtworld!
Red Mango!
Paradise Yogurt!
Pink Berry!
Yogurt Supreme!
Golden Spoon!
Yogurt Express!
and Humpry Yo-gart

Me: "At some point, something is going to tip the scale."

And apparently, I'm not the only one who feels this way. San Diego's version of the Onion, the San Diego Headliner posted a story "San Diego's Massive Yogurt Bubble Will Soon Burst" predicting 2010 as the date for the scale to tip.

But there's nothing like the .30 per ounce Yogurtland deliciousness. Or walking our puppy to Paradise Yogurt's .25 cent per ounce, slightly cheap tasting stuff. (and being a little grossed out that they have a dog water bowl inside the store -- when we go one of us waits outside with the puppy while the other goes in)

My fashion conscious husband

A: Baby what's this mall thing that everyone's talking about? Why is it such a big deal?

N: Are you serious?

A: Well yeah, where is it? Why are they all there? I get that its a town square or something, but I don't see any stores?!

N: Are you like completely serious right now?

My husband...the man who likes to kill time at Nordstrom over playing any video game.

Given -- he went to DC when he was 12. I did too, but also two more times after that.

I give Ann Taylor way too much free press

I sit here ready to go to grandma and pampy's farewell, in an Ann Taylor dress and Ann Taylor jacket and realize that my trip to the mall yesterday included going to Ann Taylor, Ann Taylor Loft and Victoria's Secret. But it was so fulfilling!

My mom and I always ask for the handicapped dressing room. It's for persons with disbilities -- she's got a disability -- and we always share. Always. Cricket can't give shopping advice after all.

"Mom, why are your jeans soo baggy?"

"What do you mean?"

"They don't fit, like anywhere. There is room at the waist, the hips, the butt. We need her to bring in some straight leg ones."

"Oh no, I don't buy straight leg jeans. Oprah said they make your butt look big."

"Mom! Think about that!! You don't have a butt! Oprah just came out and said she was fatt!! You need to create a butt"

"Oooh."

The goal was to get some non-mom jeans -- I know at Ann Taylor? -- but they came through. Somehow the sales lady thought there was a 0P in the dressing room though and when I handed them to my mom, she struggled a bit. It was awesome. We did find jeans though, horray!

Kudos to her for posing in the dressing room. Moms are awesome.

RSVP for one, please

While perusing facebook...

"Your law school's Barrister's Ball is at the Hyatt this year? "

"Ummm?"

"And it's like black tie -- that's different than last year."

"It is?"

"Didn't they tell you this? When were you going to tell me this? Why did I find all this out through facebook?"

"Well now you know, I didn't have to tell you"

"Well heck, I'm RSVPing."

Boo. I think I was just all depressed that I can't wear the same dress I bought last year. Anyone want a sparkly princess strapless dress from BCBG? Everyone was so fairly casual-dressy at the last "formal" that this year I thought I'd sew more black onto it -- maybe do an empire waist thing with sleeves? It needs to be toned down.

As in less disco ball.