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I can remember the last time I sincerely felt like I felt that God was proud of me. It was fall of 2005. I was wearing a white cardigan and white shade tank. Jeans. I walked past the Eccles building on campus at USU that has black glass -- you could see your reflection -- and I saw myself and felt like what I was doing in my life at that moment was right.
Fast Forward: Today in church, our choir sang the sweetest song -- If the Savior Stood Beside Me. That's how I remember feeling.
Rewind: Ah, Fall 2005. I'd just declared a major. I had rock star roommates. I was taking religion classes everyday. I had an awesome calling in church as compassionate service leader.
For some reason, at that time almost four years ago challenges seemed few. But -- it wasn't too soon after that moment that I started slipping and sliding and really haven't gotten back on track since. I let my heart get frustrated, I made some bad choices.
A friend and I confessed our personal struggles to each other this week. While both of us felt in turmoil, both of us were grateful for our faith.
At that moment, it didn't matter that our beliefs at times come under attack, that one of the top stories on CNN that day was on the decline of religion.
It didn't matter that soon (today I think, I don't watch it) our religion would be paraded on a certain TV show for sensationalism. Whatev. (though...if it sparks questions -- feel free to email me about the clothing, the garments, or anything else, I wouldn't trust a TV show)
I think that because of the internal struggle I've dealt with personally, sometimes I may not use this blog to reflect in the truest of lights my testimony. Please know that I struggle, but more than anything else, I rely on my faith in times of hope and in times of sorrow. I believe that religion is a growing process, and spiritually I am very young.
This video has floated around on several blogs. But it's great. It's Rachel Esplin, a LDS Harvard Student, being quizzed by Sally Quinn during their Day of Faith.
It starts kind of slow, but Rachel really starts showing why she shined in her Harvard admissions interview just before minute six when she starts talking about men and women and equality in the church. Whew!
(Oh, and so-called magic underwear is on minute 15. Though we really need to discuss this magic underwear thing. I'm with CJane. If the "world" is going to refer to it as Magic, it must start granting me wishes. Just kidding.)
Day of Faith: Personal Quests for a Purpose - 3. Rachel Esplin from Harvard Hillel on Vimeo.
8 comments:
Natalie- THanks so much for posting this video. I had not yet seen it and it was so great to hear this young girl articulate her beliefs. You can tell she was being led by the spirit and it gave me a little boost I needed today since we skipped out on church.
Wow. I am extremely impressed by this girl. I have a ton of respect for her. Thank you for sharing this video, I hadn't seen or heard anything about it.
Thanks for your sweet testimony Nat! I truly enjoyed the video especially the part about women and men being equal in the church...she put it so plainly and simply...love it!
I was good friends with Rachel in high school and still keep in touch. Even though we don't share the same religious beliefs, she really is as articulate, intelligent and gorgeous as this video makes her out to be. I'm kind of amused that she's turned into this Mormon viral video star.
I love the video. What an example.
I got my prize in the mail today. I LOVE it!! Thank you!
I loved your post. I know exactly the spot on campus you're talking about. I have a feeling God has been proud of you countless times since, but isn't it funny how we have these solid memories of what it feels like to know? That's a good feeling.
Hey Natalie, I know you posted this a LONG time ago but I just saw it on your favorites and read it for the first time. I also loved that video and thought that girl was amazing how she handled herself answering those questions. Can't say I would even come close to being able to answer like she did.
Most importantly about this post, I want you to know that I do, and ALWAYS have, looked up to you. ESPECIALLY when we were roommates, the whole year. You were always so compassionate towards others (I can think of ONE person in particular that you headed up a roommate plan for - you know what I mean) and that is why you were so awesome at that calling. You really have always been such an example to me. Your plainness in faith is so amazing to me. Although you say you question, I know you're questioning things in a good way. Wanting to know more, understand better, make sure it's true to you - not questioning like you doubt you would ever believe something or that it might make the church false all together. (Did that make sense at all?) Just wanted to let you know that I've always thought the world of you and admire your courage to share your life and religion with the world, so publicly. It shows how strong your testimony really is. Things (as far as church and faith go) will only get better and better over time. Eventually you will be the ROCK of the ward. The lady that everyone looks up to and asks everything they need to know because you'll know it all and be able to relate to anyone (more than you already do). :) Love you Nat!
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